


Their Path From Madness

by phoenixreal



Series: Bleach Madness Verse [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insanity, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Post Mpreg, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 01:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixreal/pseuds/phoenixreal
Summary: Ichigo has people that love and care about him now. He has left behind the chains of Soul Society's wrath, and is now free. Unfortunately, he is not completely free of his madness. His children, though, grow up, and become something special in their own right.Short Stories about Ichigo's children from In the Grip of Madness.





	1. Rip Apart, Puma

**Author's Note:**

> I may add to and expand any or all of these. The rating may change and the tags will definitely change as I go along. Enjoy this small glimpse into the lives and futures of the babies from In the Grip of Madness.

* * *

 

“Makiko!” Yazu yelled as she ran down the long hallway where her sister was standing.

The pale girl turned around look at Yazu, her face expressionless as usual. “What is it?” she asked. “I was on my way to see the Quincy for training this morning.”

“I know, I know!” Yazu exclaimed as she caught up with the other young woman. “I wanted to come along. I had a couple new scans to run by Ishida-san.”

“Are you again going to take up half my time with the Quincy for your work?” Makiko asked, blinking her green eyes at Yazu.

Yazu stuck her tongue out at Makiko. “I just want to talk to him for a minute!”

Makiko sighed, about the only expression of emotion that the daughter of Ulquiorra ever had. “Very well. Come along if you must.”

Yazu’s blue eyes lit up as she smiled at her sister. “I knew you would come around.”

“Only because you will pout if I do not permit you to see the Quincy,” Makiko commented as they came to one of the training rooms.

They came into the room to find Uryū waiting with their Dam. Yazu took off immediately to go give him a hug. She hadn’t seen him in the last couple days, she’d been so busy with her research.

“Dam!” she called and wrapped her arms around him. She’d grown almost equal to him in height, which wasn’t unexpected consider her father was a bit taller than her Dam.

“Yazu, how are you?” he said, and Yazu knew it was one of those weird days because his eyes shifted above her head and back to her face.

Every single time it happened she felt terrible. She only wanted to find a way to heal Dam. That was her aim in life, and she would certainly try to do so for as long as it took. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

“Is it the butterflies today?” she asked, watching as his eyes flickered again.

“Just a few. It’s not that bad,” he said, but Yazu knew that it was worse than he was letting on about it.

“You should go lie down with Uncle Sōsuke, or with Father. Where’s Hisashi?” she asked, looking about for her brother that was normally minding their Dam.

“He needed to go do something, so he left your Dam here with me,” Uryū said and patted Dam on the shoulder.

She supposed that was alright. She knew Hisashi would never leave Dam alone, and they all trusted Uryū with him, even on the bad days he had. She noted that Dam was still looking off into the distance and she renewed her resolve yet again to make a day come where he didn’t have to suffer the hallucinations in his mind. At least lately, he had not had any of the scary images that sent him screaming. Those were the worst. When he got irrationally angry, it was easy enough to handle. Either her father or Uncle Nnoitra would take him and spar with him for a couple hours. Yazu couldn’t really watch them spar because Dam always, always, was reckless and ended up getting hurt enough to go see Uncle Szayel.

When Yazu had been almost grown, she had the talk with Urahara-san about what happened to Dam. It had been her choice to hear the story, in fact, she had been insisting since she hit her adolescence and gained her resurrección. She knew that it was a hard story to tell, but she knew it was important for her to know what had happened. She had still been on track to continue working on a cure for Dam, and to do that, she needed to know the whole truth.

When the story came out, when Urahara-san told her everything, she cried. In fact, she had never cried so hard in her entire life. She had always suspected that something truly horrible had happened to Dam, but to find out that his own friends had turned on him was almost too much for her to bear. And she had been angry. How could she not? To find out that people like Abarai-san and Kuchiki-san had let something like that happen to him.

_“But always remember, Yazu-chan. Your Dam forgave them all for what they did. He never held it against them, and he accepted them afterward. You can’t imagine the strength it had to take for him to so freely love the very people that were at fault for his torment.”_

So, Yazu couldn’t hold it against them because it would have made Dam sad if she did. However, she forever looked at the people from Soul Society with suspicion and wariness from then on. How could she not? What they had done had caused irreparable damage to Dam. But even that, Dam didn’t regret.

_“Also know that your Dam will never regret what he’s been through. If it had not been for what happened to him, he would have never been made into an Arrancar, and he never would have been able to have children. He happily gives up part of his sanity in exchange for you all. It was a trade he didn’t intend to make, but one that was made nonetheless.”_

Since then, many things had changed for Yazu. She had worked side by side with Urahara-san and Uncle Szayel, learning all she could. She’d also worked with Ishida-san to get a broad knowledge of medicine and psychology. She was always happy when he brought her more textbooks from the World of the Living.  She read them voraciously and absorbed as much knowledge as she could. In this way, she was her Dam’s daughter.

But she wasn’t only Dam’s daughter. She had inherited more than her eyes from her father. She occasionally suffered bouts of anger and resentment toward everyone and everything. At those times, she would take her sword, Puma, and go into the wastes for a few hours to work out the burning aggression that would sometimes arise. She may have been a scientist by trade, but she had been trained since she was young to handle herself against just about anything. She had no doubts in her physical abilities, and much pride in her intellectual ones.

The one thing she had avoided thus far was meeting Kurotsuchi-taichou. She knew that he was the source of much of her Dam’s insanity, and no matter how much of an impressive scientist and researcher he was, and no matter how good the twelfth division was in Soul Society, she could never take that step. She was afraid that her anger would take hold and she would end up going after the man that had caused her Dam such pain and suffering under the guise of “research”. Even thinking about it set her stomach to turning.

She shook away thoughts of the past and put an arm around Dam’s shoulders, hugging him tight to her again. He didn’t really respond much, but she wasn’t expecting it considering the kind of day it was. That was okay. As long as it wasn’t a bad day, everything would be okay.

“You wished to see the Quincy, Yazu. You are wasting my time,” Makiko said blankly, blinking at her with as close to an annoyed look as she ever got.

“Oh yes,” she exclaimed and looked at Uryū. “Ishida-san, I have a couple sets of scans for you to look at with the new PET scans I performed during the last occurrence. I’ve also come up with a possible way to modify the PET.”

“You managed to get a PET done during an occurrence?” Uryū asked, surprised by that.

“It wasn’t easy; it took Hisashi, Father, Uncle Nnoitra, and Uncle Sōsuke to get him to the lab to start with, and I had to use a paralytic on him to keep him still enough for the procedure. I managed it, though.” She smiled, proud of being able to wrangle her Dam during one of his bad days, or an occurrence as they officially called it, into the lab at all. But it was necessary to see what was happening in his brain at his worst, so they had to try to get readings when they could.

Uryū looked at her for a minute in stunned silence. “That’s truly impressive, I would be interested in seeing those scans. Can you have Urahara send them to me?”

“Of course! I could show you now if you…” she trailed off, seeing that Makiko’s bright green eyes were zeroed in on her. “Or later is fine. I don’t want to take up any more of your time with Makiko. If you want to start practicing, I’ll sit here with Dam and watch.”

Makiko arched a brow and turned to Uryū. “Quincy, I am ready.”

Uryū sighed and shook his head. He walked out into the practice area and began working with Makiko. So far, the Arrancar was exceedingly strong in Quincy abilities, much to everyone’s surprise. Yazu remembered the first time Ishida-san had come to train her. He had been doubtful that she could show any abilities since she was an Arrancar and not a human. To his shock, she managed to manifest a bow by the end of the first session.

After watching for a few minutes, Dam started to reach for something. Yazu reached out and put a hand on his.

“Dam, what do you see?” she asked, always intrigued by the things he saw no matter how disturbing they were.

He was quiet for a moment then looked at her. “Butterflies converge in a point to the south, then they explode in a circle of infinite space and time,” he said very seriously.

Yazu sighed, patting him on the back and looking in the direction he was staring. Of course, there was nothing there. She wasn’t even sure if the direction he was looking was even south. She was about to say something when she jumped because someone put a hand on her shoulder. She gasped and turned around to see Hisashi had returned.

“Hisashi! You scared me!” she told him, slapping him lightly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was talking to Uncle Szayel about some possible medical treatments I’ve come up with. A couple ideas for serums that might work to help alleviate some of Dam’s hallucinations,” he explained, sitting down on the other side of Dam.

“Dam, are you there?” he asked, passing a hand in front of Dam’s face.

“I haven’t gone anywhere,” Dam said, frowning and looking at him.

Hisashi smiled. “I know, Dam, I know. Do you want to go draw with your pencils or paint in the art room? I think Gin and Kin were working on some of their projects today.”

Dam was silent for a minute then nodded. “Okay, that’s fine,” he said and stood up slowly.

“I’ll come with you,” Yazu said gently, taking Dam’s hand in hers. He looked at her curiously for a minute, then looked at Hisashi. Hisashi took his other hand and pulled slightly to get him moving in the direction of the art room.

The art room had been their playroom when they were younger. As they had grown older and acquired their own rooms, things slowly changed in the room to contain just the things that Dam enjoyed doing. This included painting, drawing, and coloring. Even at his worst times, if he could be sat down in front of a pad of paper with a red colored marker or pencil, he would start drawing madly, sometimes for hours at a time. More than once he’d drawn for so long his fingers bled from holding the implement, whatever it was. The walls were still covered with pictures they had colored when they were younger, but there were some new additions, in particular, Gin and Kin had taken to art quite readily. Gin was quite adept at watercolor, and Kin at realism.

When they got there, Gin and Kin were both at easels, working on paintings. Gin was painting a watercolor landscape of Hueco Mundo, while Kin was painting an oil portrait of Dam. They looked up as they entered. Yazu wouldn’t have been able to tell them apart at all if they didn’t wear different clothes. Usually one of them was in a skirt. However, the one in the skirt might be Gin as easily as Kin, so each day, she had to figure out which one was in which outfit.

“Good day, Dam,” Gin said, wearing a pleated skirt today, turning and walking over to him to kiss him on the cheek. “How are you?”

Kin put her paint on the tray and came over with Gin. “Is today a good day, Dam?” they asked.

Gin and Kin had both stayed shorter than Dam by a few inches, and both wore their pink hair in a braid at the base of their neck. They were both thin like Uncle Szayel. The also never carried their sword with them, instead preferring to keep it put away in the room that they shared.

Dam smiled at them and nodded. “I came to draw today.”

Kin and Gin each leaned over and kissed him on the cheek on either side. They knew that conversation wouldn’t be had in that kind of mood today. They both quietly went back to their work without another word. Yazu grabbed a chair and sat down at the table where Hisashi was placing a pad of paper and the box of markers for Dam to use. Immediately, he grabbed the red one and Yazu’s heart fell a little. That wasn’t a good sign. It meant another bad day might be coming soon.

She watched as he began drawing a messy scene, quickly putting strokes of red on the paper. It progressed to almost angry seeming and frantic after a few minutes. It was enough that Hisashi came over and took his hand he was drawing with. He looked up at him, eyes wide and unfocused.

“Dam, easy, easy,” he said gently.

Dam was a little out of breath, but he focused on Hisashi’s face. “You turned into a handsome boy,” Dam said finally, staring at him. “Where are your ears?”

“Remember, Dam, when I gained my resurrección they went away unless I release? Just like Yazu and Tamashini.” Hisashi had to remind him of this now and then.

He was silent for a minute. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”

Yazu looked at the picture to see what he’d actually drawn. It wasn’t very clear at all, and it seemed to be the cell again. He must have had another nightmare, she thought. Usually, he only had the worst flashbacks at night where he saw himself in the cell he’d been confined to. Now that Yazu knew what had occurred, she understood many of the things Dam had drawn over the years. There were often pictures of the cell and twisted images she now knew to be of Kurotsuchi’s face and visage. Sometimes he would draw dismembered bodies in gruesome detail. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t been so _good_ at it. It was obvious where Gin and Kin got their talent from.

She watched as he put his hand down and stared at the red that had rubbed off onto his hand from the marker and the paper. He tilted his head to the side and stared at it for a long time and Yazu began to worry. This was not a good sign for him.

“Dam, hey, why don’t you tell me about what you drew?” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at her, blinking for a minute. “Drowning in red,” he whispered finally. “I’m drowning in red.”

“It’s okay, Dam, you’re not drowning anymore. You’re safe with us, I promise. Do you want something different to draw with? The pencils or the paints?” she asked, picking up the pad and flipping the page over to the next one.

“I think I need Sōsuke.” He stared at her for a second blankly.

“Okay, I’ll go get him, you stay here with Hisashi, okay?” she said and stood up, watching him as he picked up the red marker again and began violently scribbling on the paper.

Yazu got up and wound her way to the main room where Uncle Sōsuke was sitting and reading a book quietly. He looked up as she approached.

“Yes, Yazu?” he said, closing the book and placing it in his lap.

“He wants you. I think he’s headed into a bad one,” she said sadly.

Uncle Sōsuke nodded, standing up and following her without a word back to the art room. Dam was still coloring in the red marker, but now had red marks all over his hands and his forearms. He even had a smudge of red on his nose.

“Oh, my, look at the mess you’ve got yourself in, my dear,” Uncle Sōsuke said as he kneeled beside the table.

“I was drowning in red,” he whispered seriously to him.

“Let’s go to the baths, alright?” Uncle Sōsuke said and took him by the hand and pulling him to stand.

“Dripping water?” Dam asked, looking at him curiously.

“Yes, my dear, all the water. Let’s go get you cleaned up and get the marker off your arms and face. Then we can go to bed for a little while,” Uncle Sōsuke said and led him out of the room to the baths.

Yazu sighed, putting her head down on the table until Hisashi put his hand on her back. She turned her head to the side and looked at him.

“How do you do it?” she asked him.

“Do what?” Hisashi said, rubbing her back lightly.

“Keep your head around Dam? Nothing he does or says ever seems to affect you,” she said, sitting back up and looking at him.

Hisashi smiled, his brown eyes sparkling a little with unshed tears. “It does affect me, sister. Believe me.”

Yazu nodded, putting a hand over Hisashi’s on the table. “What do we do?”

“Everything we can,” Hisashi told her. “Everything we can.”


	2. Leap, Lobo Oscuro

Hisashi was just about to knock on the door to his Father’s rooms when he sensed a substantial increase in his reiatsu. Followed by Dam’s. His hand hovered over the door before he moved.

“What are you doing?” he heard from behind him. He turned to see Makiko standing behind him.

“I was going to talk to my Father…but…” he trailed off, still sensing his father’s strong reiatsu.

“They are having sex,” Makiko supplied.

Hisashi blushed and glared at her. “You don’t have to put it like that. I don’t want to think about them doing that!”

“Well, you know they have to have done it many times, otherwise we would not exist,” she said, running a hand through her orange and black hair without much thought.

Hisashi sighed, rolling his eyes a bit. “I know that. I just don’t want to be imagining my parents doing ‘it’, you know.”

“It is quite obvious that Dam still loves your father enough to have sex with him. This is a good thing for them both. It is good to make Dam happy, whatever it is that does it.” She tilted her head to the side, her green eyes barely blinking.

“You’re right, but I should come back later. I don’t want to disturb them at all,” he said, glancing behind him at the door. “Aren’t you supposed to be training with Ishida-san?”

“The Quincy is unable to come today so I was heading to the baths. I should be going there now. Good day, Hisashi,” she said and turned on her heel and went back the way she’d come.

Hisashi took a deep breath and looked at the door again, still sensing the reiatsu from the other side. He did smile a bit because it meant that Dam was feeling better. From a medical perspective, it was a very good thing to see him doing normal things.

Normal things, Hisashi thought as he turned and walked back to the medical ward. He did not really want to think about Dam having sex with any of their fathers, least of all his own. He knew it was a natural part of his life, and just because he had children, it didn’t stop him from being sexually active. It always came up, though. He sighed as he came into his office and dropped into the seat at the desk.

He remembered when Uncle Szayel had finally sat down with him and talked about their Dam and how to help him best. He was old enough to hear about the realities of the situation, and he appeared to be on his way to learning medicine in order to help take care of Dam as best he could. There wasn’t a moment in his life he ever thought of leaving his Dam. He would always, always, take care of him, no matter what. But finding out the truth about what had happened to him was gut wrenching.

He'd cried, of course, hearing the story. Even as an adolescent, he cried easily still. That had never changed from the time he was a small child. He had been called “crybaby” by Yazu most of his life, and he’d grown used it. He didn’t care, though, what anyone thought. He only cried over his Dam, and even as an adult, that was still true. But the story that came out, of how Dam was betrayed by his friends and family, and how they had locked him up all alone for five long years, he cried harder than he had since he was very little. He understood that Uncle Sōsuke had been the cause of everything, but it hadn’t been Uncle Sōsuke that had turned on his Dam; that had been those he trusted more than anyone else.

Then to find out about the research that the Shinigami scientist was allowed to do… It was almost too much for Hisashi. Uncle Szayel had asked if he wanted him to stop or go on because he was so upset by what he was hearing. Hisashi wanted to hear the rest, though, and got himself under control again. He still cried, but he let Uncle Szayel talk. Since he wanted to be involved in Dam’s medical treatment, this was important for him to understand, even more so than his siblings. He listened as Uncle Szayel told him about the first days, when Dam was utterly without control and totally mad. It amazed him to see how much farther Dam had come since those days. He’d then asked how he came to improve so drastically.

Uncle Szayel had seemed reluctant to go into details on that subject, explaining that they had ended up using the claiming right on Dam to try and reduce the poisoning reiatsu. He’d been dumbfounded at first and not understanding what that meant. Uncle Szayel ended up explaining what claiming rights were, and the whole issue of alpha and beta hollows. As an adolescent, hearing about his Dam’s sexual experiences had been somewhat jarring to say the least. He understood, though, that it was all related to how they had healed Dam’s madness as much as they had. Then, of course, he had been turned into an Arrancar fully by Uncle Sōsuke. Then, he had started having the children, which seemed to clear his madness some as he went along, finally becoming as he was now once he had Kage.

Hisashi had been interested by Kage being so different from the rest of them, and he understood now why. He’d always wondered why Kage didn’t have a bone fragment and never gained a resurrección when he hit adolescence like the rest of them. Now he knew that Kage had always been different from the very beginning. He wanted to examine the hogyuku at some point and knew that Yazu was also interested in the item and what it had done to help Dam along with giving birth to each of them.

The only time that Hisashi had left Dam for any amount of time was when he went to Soul Society to train with Unohana-taichou. It had been the hardest six months of his life, and he’d come back once a week to visit with Dam the entire time he was gone. He had learned a lot from the Shinigami, and even though he was wary of them, he found them welcoming for the most part. He tended to stay by himself while he was there and avoided really talking to anyone to often aside from the Shinigami he already knew that visited Dam. Still, he looked at them differently after finding out what had happened. He tried not to let it color his interactions because he knew Dam wouldn’t want him to hold anything against them.

He was looked upon with suspicion since he was an Arrancar and definitely not a Shinigami like the people around him. He never tried to fit in or even attempt to assimilate into Soul Society while he was there. He wasn’t there for that sort of thing. He was there to learn as much as he could about the healing arts and channeling healing energies. He’d been an adept student, and found the experience to be a good one, if a very emotionally taxing one.

He had made one friend in Soul Society, and he had been happy to see Dam’s face soften in recognition of the medical Shinigami named Hanataro Yamada. He had instantly bonded with the Shinigami once he found out that Hisashi was Dam’s son. He had a million questions for him about how Dam was doing, and about what all had happened. Hisashi came to find out that only those in power had any control over what happened to Dam, and the rest of the Shinigami couldn’t be faulted for what their leaders had done.

The only other person that Hisashi had taken a liking to had been Kenpachi Zaraki of all people. He ended up talking to him one day on accident. His pink-haired lieutenant had pointed out that Hisashi was Dam’s son, and Zaraki-taichou had asked if he could fight like his Dam. Hisashi had explained that he was nowhere near as good at fighting as his Dam, but he would be more than happy to spar with the larger captain should he want to. So, they ended up sparring with each other, and Hisashi had the chance to use his resurrección and fight someone he could shoot ceros at without fearing damaging him too much. It had been fun, and he managed to cut Zaraki-taichou. Considering he often sparred with Uncle Nnoitra, it wasn’t that much different. He also had to give Zaraki-taichou his due for being the sole voice of resistance when Dam was convicted of murder.

Of course, Hisashi’s other frequent visits were to Agartha where he worked with Kriya Windthunder, Medea, and Zadie. He also worked closely with the herbalist, Kerest, in an attempt to come up with the best medicines for Dam to help him deal with his hallucinations and other symptoms. He was constantly consulting with various people to find the best treatments for his Dam. Though no one he worked with seemed to be able to come up with a full answer to getting rid of the madness he still suffered from, he still tried. And he would continue to try no matter how long he had to. In the process, he was becoming one of the most knowledgeable doctors in Las Noches and Soul Society. He was determined, fiercely devoted, and most of all, patient.

No matter if Dam was chasing his butterflies, or talking about the sparrows bothering him, or even in one of his violent moods, Hisashi was patient with him. He learned ways to deal with all aspects of his madness and picked up which of his mates were best for what times. Even though he wished that he could be all that Dam needed, he knew that he needed the others at certain times.

He’d wandered toward the common room in his thinking. He sighed, looking around to see who was there. He saw Ryoto sitting with Tamashini on one of the sofas. He wandered over and sat down.

“You look pensive,” Ryoto commented, brushing his tiger pelted hair behind his ear.

“Oh, I was going to talk to my Father, but um, he and Dam are occupied,” Hisashi told him.

Tamashini nodded knowingly. “Yeah, I made the mistake of going to talk to my Father last week and walked in on him and Dam. It was quite embarrassing, but I don’t think either of them even noticed I was there.”

Ryoto snorted. “At least Dam has been feeling better,” he commented, looking over at Hisashi.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I just wish I wasn’t thinking about our parents like _that_. You know.” Hisashi scratched under his bone fragment thoughtfully.

“I don’t think anyone wants to think about their parents doing _that_ ,” Tamashini said, standing up to her full six foot three in height and stretching her arms over her head. “I’m gonna go find Dad or Uncle Grimmjow. I’m in the mood to spar.”

“Oh, before you go, did you finish that project you were working on?” Hisashi asked as he glanced up at her.

“The transportation design I’ve been working on for within Las Noches? Not yet, but I’m still working on it. Creating a safe and fast transportation system takes a lot of time, but it would be useful if areas of Las Noches didn’t take so bloody long to get to even in sonido.” She pulled her long black hair up in a tie on the back of her head.

Hisashi nodded. That was true. Even at their fastest, getting to further parts of Las Noches took way more time. They tended to gather around the areas near the central room where Uncle Sōsuke stayed most the time. Tamashini had been working for quite some time on the idea to create a type of rail system that would also include going to Agartha in an underground route. She had been working on it off and on for the last five years.

“Good luck, and have fun sparring,” Hisashi said as she turned and left.

Ryoto looked at him and patted his arm. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, just worried about Dam. The serums I’ve been working on don’t seem to have any effect, and I’m beginning to run out of new theories to turn to. It’s frustrating because I know that I can figure out some way to make things better for him if I just try hard enough,” he said and looked up at Ryoto.

“You are trying hard enough, Hisashi. You do everything and then some for Dam. You couldn’t possibly do any more than you already are,” Ryoto reminded him.

“I know, but every time he has a bad day, I feel like I’ve failed him.” Nothing would ever make that feeling go away in Hisashi’s mind.

“You should go see how he’s doing. I stopped sensing Uncle Starrk’s reiatsu a little while ago. I’m sure they’ll be emerging from his rooms.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Hisashi said as he stood up and looked at his brother. “Thanks. Sometimes it’s good to hear someone else say that I’m doing all I can. I sometimes forget that, I think.”

“You dedicated your life to doing nothing but helping Dam. I can’t imagine spending as much time with him as you do and not getting frustrated or angry with him, especially when he’s at his worst,” Ryoto said, shaking his head. “I don’t have the patience for him like you do.”

Hisashi smiled. “I know, but you do what you can. You’re his protector when he goes to Agartha to visit, and you’re the most skilled of us with a sword. We all have our place in Dam’s life, just some of us spend more time with him than others.”

“But still. What you do is not something just anyone can do. You need to remember that when you think of yourself, Hisashi.” Ryoto leaned back in the seat and looked over at him.

Hisashi smiled at him. “Thanks again,” he said and headed toward the art room.

He could sense Dam’s reiatsu coming from that direction. He opened the door to find his father sitting at the table with Uncle Nnoitra and Uncle Jatya.

“Hisashi, there you are,” he said as he came over to the table. “I’m sorry I’m late bringing your Dam to you… We got caught up in something.”

Hisashi smiled and nodded. “Um, yeah, I figured as much. How is he today?”

“I think he is pretty clear headed this morning. He wanted to draw though, so it might decline as the day goes on.” His father nodded over toward where Dam sat at the drawing table.

“I’ll see how he is doing,” Hisashi said and headed back over toward Dam.

He looked at the drawing first and smiled to himself. Dam was drawing in colors today. That was a good sign. The drawing was careful and meticulous, not frantic and sketched, so that was another good sign that Dam was in a good place today. He came up behind him and kissed him on the cheek. He turned toward him and smiled.

“Hisashi,” Dam said and then returned to his drawing. So, not a great day but it was certainly not a bad one. If drawing was his only symptom today, that would be good. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a vial.

“Um, Dam, could you try this? It’s another serum I’ve been working on with Kerest from Agartha. It might help with some of the things you see,” he explained as he held out the small vial of liquid.

Dam looked up and frowned for as second. He reached out and took it carefully, and Hisashi held his breath for a moment. He had a second vial, just in case, because more than once, one of his concoctions had gone flying when Dam decided adamantly that he wasn’t taking anything else. He was relatively calm today, so it might go over well.

“Okay,” he said and opened the small vial and drank the pale yellow liquid inside it. He made a face and handed the empty container back to Hisashi. “That tastes weird.”

“I know, Dam. I tried to flavor it with something you’d like, but it didn’t flavor very well. It should work pretty fast, then I need you to tell me how you feel and if anything feels different. Have you been seeing any butterflies or sparrows today?” Hisashi asked, kneeling beside him with his head resting on his arms where they were folded on the table.

“No, today hasn’t been that busy,” he said and made another face.

“Are you okay?” Hisashi asked, slightly concerned at the change in his expression.

Dam nodded slowly, looking away for a second. “Yeah, I thought I saw something, but it went away. Maybe it’s working?”

Hisashi sighed. He’d hoped for better results, but every step forward, no matter how small, was a step forward, he reminded himself. “That’s okay, Dam. Just tell me if you see anything else.”

“Okay,” he said and returned to his drawing again. Hisashi stood up and glanced over to see his father coming over to where they were seated.

“My dear,” he said and leaned over to kiss Dam’s forehead. “I will see you later today. I leave you with Hisashi. I must go attend to some things for Aizen-san.”

“Alright, Puppy,” Dam said, using his nickname for his father. Hisashi smiled because that was a good thing for the day. He often used that nickname when he was in a good mood.

His father patted Dam on the back and then turned and left. Hisashi pulled a chair around to Dam’s side of the table so he could sit down with Dam a little more comfortably. He looked over to see that Dam was drawing a fanciful picture of mythological creatures from the human world. He smiled because the last book he’d read with Dam had been a mythology book. He guessed he was still remembering some of those stories today. In the middle, there was a large phoenix made of a rainbow of colors.

“What are you drawing today, Dam?” Hisashi asked, wondering if he even would tell him.

“The phoenix. I like the phoenix. It is born out of the ashes of its old life and is reborn. Maybe someday, I’ll be reborn without the madness. Do you think so? Do you think when I die that I’ll go back to Soul Society and be born again? Or will I just always be here as an Arrancar?”

Hisashi blinked rapidly, not sure how to answer that. “I’m not sure, Dam. I don’t know what will happen. None of us really do. But you won’t die anytime soon. You’re an Arrancar, after all. You’re not constrained by human lifetimes any longer.”

Dam nodded. “That’s true. But to be a phoenix, even in my dreams…” he trailed off, looking up in the air at something beyond Hisashi’s vision.

“Have you been having good dreams, Dam?” Hisashi asked, putting a hand on Dam’s arm. He turned to look at him sharply, as though just realizing that he was there.

“Yes, nice dreams, of before. I dreamed of the first time I was in Hueco Mundo when I was rescuing Inoue. It was a nice dream and I hadn’t had it in a while,” Dam said with a small smile.

“Did you want to tell me about it?” Hisashi asked, leaning over on his elbows. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard the story before. He could probably tell the tales of Dam’s life better than he could. He just loved to listen to him talk about things that had happened for a little while. In that time, he didn’t fight his madness, and he was able to give the stories to them.

As he spoke, Hisashi smiled, listening to the story unraveling, from the fight with Uncle Grimmjow in the World of the Living when he almost lost and Inoue-san disappearing into Hueco Mundo, all the way up until the fight with Uncle Sōsuke when everyone thought he’d been defeated. Every time Dam told the story, small details that were new each time would come up that hadn’t been mentioned before. Hisashi found it fascinating the things that Dam focused on each time he told the stories of his life and the things that had happened to him.

When he was done, he stared into space for a minute, blinking rapidly for a bit. Hisashi put his hand on Dam’s arm and smiled to himself. Times like these, he loved. He would always love these times with his Dam.

“I love you, Dam,” he said finally.

To his surprise, Dam turned and looked directly at him and smiled. “I love you, too, Hisashi,” he said gently.


	3. Fly, Murciélago de Sangre

 

Makiko had always been different from her siblings. She never got that excited when things happened, and she never seemed to be bothered by anything much at all. All in all, she appeared to be emotionless. But that was far from the truth.

Only one person had ever seen Makiko cry, and that was her Dam. She didn’t even remember what happened, really. She just remembered telling Dam that she wanted to talk to him alone. That alone was odd for the green-eyed girl to do, so Dam had been more than willing to listen. She remembered talking to him, then just breaking down, all the dams released, and she cried in front of him. He’d hugged her tightly, whispering words of comfort that time had erased from her memory. The words didn’t matter, though. The feelings remained, and Dam was the only one she trusted enough to let herself be bare in front of him.

For as long as she could remember, emotion was something that she could touch and mold however she wanted it. She saw her father, saw his struggle with learning how to deal with emotions that he’d never experienced, and she knew that she had to do that too. She had to manage her emotions and that was the only way to protect herself from the world. That tight control was all she had at times, and it was something no one could take away from her.

Of course, she had cried another time almost as hard as the time she was in front of Dam with her tears. That had been the day she finally asked for the truth behind Dam’s madness. She had asked the Quincy after he trained her one afternoon.

At first, he didn’t want to tell her, but she insisted. He looked nervous at the thought of explaining things to her, but she knew that she had to know what had happened to Dam. The Quincy had tried to tell her to talk to anyone but him. She merely refused, saying she was not leaving or letting him leave until she was given the truth, and she knew that he had the knowledge.

Finally, he relented and told the story. At first, it was hard for him to explain the betrayal that had occurred, and how he was slowly driven insane by the solitude, and then the tortures that Kurotsuchi had put him through in the guise of research. Makiko, as usual, listened with no expression on her face. When he stopped, she would prod him to continue. He told her he didn’t know all the details of what happened in Las Noches, but what he did know was that he was completely out of control and dying from the reiatsu poisoning. He said that the alphas had all claimed him to help remove it, and then Uncle Sōsuke had used the hogyuku to turn him into an Arrancar. That gave him the ability to have children, so for a few years he gave birth to all of them, with Kage last and born differently from the rest of them.

She had thanked him and gone back to her room where no one could see or hear her. There, she cried again. Her sweet Dam, the one and only person she could open herself to, had been through such horrors. And out of all of it, he still forgave them all, even Kurotsuchi.

“Makiko?” she heard. She turned to see Ryoto coming down the hall where she’d stopped to think. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I was just going to train with the Quincy.” She trained every chance that the Quincy came to Las Noches. Sometimes that was every month, sometimes every three months. He seemed to always make time for her in his schedule.

“I just saw you standing here in the hallway, so I was wondering…” Ryoto scratched his face near his right tusk.

“I was thinking about Dam.” She always got straight to the point, and there was no reason to lie to Ryoto. In fact, she felt there was really no reason to lie ever.

“I think I saw Hisashi and Dam walking toward the training room with Ishida-san. Maybe he’s having a good day and wants to watch you train,” Ryoto told her.

She didn’t show it, of course, but that thought made her happy. To have Dam come watch her was a thing she would never ask for but loved when he did it. “I will see shortly,” she told Ryoto and turned back to get to the training room.

Once there, she did indeed see Dam with the Quincy and Hisashi. Either he just wanted to talk to his friend, the Quincy, or he was going to watch the training session. She secretly hoped for the latter because she had been improving greatly lately. She was almost as good with her bow as the Quincy was. Not quite, but she was learning quickly.

“Dam,” she called as she came near to them.

“Oh, Makiko. There you are. We were wondering when you would get here,” Dam said with a smile. Makiko almost returned the smile because Dam was obviously having a very good day today. He was talking quite a bit.

“Hisashi, Quincy,” she acknowledged.

They both nodded to her and Dam walked up to kiss her on the cheek. She was shorter than Dam by several inches, so he had to lean down to do it. That was a good sign, too. With Dam, she was always looking for any good signs.

“I thought I’d come watch you today,” Dam told her with a grin. “Uryū says that you’re doing very well, and todays a good day for me.”

This time, Makiko did crack a slight smile. No matter how she tried to hide it, the thought that _she_ was on Dam’s mind made her happy. She sometimes felt like she was outside looking into their family. She knew that Dam didn’t want her to feel that way, so she tried to force herself into participating in things with everyone else. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn’t.

“I’m glad, Dam. I haven’t seen you in a few days,” she told him, her face returning to the near expressionless state that was normal for her.

“Here, I’ll sit down here and watch while you go ahead and train. I like watching you,” Dam said as he settled down in a spot along the wall.

“Alright, now, Makiko, we’ll start,” the Quincy said as he gestured to her.

The training session was easy enough for her. She was able to do her best especially with her Dam watching them so intently. She noted a couple times that Hisashi had to talk to him when it looked like his attention might have wandered from what Makiko was doing. That was okay, though, because his attention always returned to her. She was proud of herself by the time she was done. She and the Quincy walked back over where Dam was just standing up with Hisashi.

“You are doing so well, Makiko!” Dam said with another smile for her.

“Thank you, Dam. The Quincy is an effective teacher,” she told him.

She heard the slight huff from the Quincy. “I do have a name other than ‘the Quincy’,” he grumbled under his breath.

Makiko nearly smile again at that comment. It wasn’t like the Quincy was the only one she referred to like that. She had picked up from her Dam calling Urahara Getabishi. She called all of her uncles by name, and her Father by Father. The Princess was her name for Inoue, and so on.

“Oh, Makiko, Grandfather is coming to visit later today. Will you come and see him?” Hisashi asked as he took Dam by the hand.

“I will be able to visit with him. I have no other responsibilities for the rest of the day,” she told him with a gentle incline of her head.

Makiko wasn’t sure what to feel when it came to Dam’s father. On the one hand, she enjoyed seeing him and hearing about the rest of Dam’s family back in the World of the Living. On the other hand, she did not think she could ever truly forgive the man for not standing up for Dam when he was accused of murder. She could not imagine Dam, or even one of her uncles or her own father abandoning her to the type of fate that Soul Society had for Dam.

She knew that Dam loved him. He was a Shinigami once more, and while he lived in the World of the Living with his daughters, he knew that one day he would leave them and go to live in Soul Society once more. She was relatively glad that he was coming on a good day. She did read the pain in the man’s face when he came on a day that was bad for Dam. She wondered if he was coming alone or if someone would come with him. At the very least, Getabishi would be with him, she knew.

“I’ll see you in the art room in a couple hours, then,” Hisashi said as he turned to leave with Dam.

“Good-bye, Makiko. Good work today!” Dam called as he waved at her.

She let a rare smile come to her lips. Dam had praised her, and that was worth more than anything in the world to her. Just a few simple words from Dam would make her week, and they were precious to her. She was startled when the Quincy put a hand on her shoulder. She turned and looked at him.

“Makiko, you are doing far better than I would have ever imagined. You’ll be the first non-human to become a Quincy. I still cannot believe that you inherited the bloodline from Ichigo. You have done more than anyone believed was possible,” he told her.

She had a ghost of a smile upon her lips. “Except Dam.”

“Except Dam?” he echoed.

“Dam always knew that I would do well, I know that,” she said. She looked at him. “Are you staying until Grandfather arrives?”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll wait for Urahara-san and Kurosaki-san to go back. No reason to make more trips than necessary. I was planning on going to Szayel’s lab and seeing if he and Yazu had any new tests that they’ve done lately,” he said and gave her a small smile.

“I will walk with you to the lab,” she stated flatly and turned to head in that direction.

The Quincy followed her, and they walked down the halls to go to the lab. The Quincy always seemed to struggle with silence and tended to try and fill it with idle chatter. This was of no import to Makiko and she rarely listened more than superficially to him as he spoke like this. They arrived at the lab and she bid the Quincy farewell and she made her way toward her father’s door. She knocked upon it and he answered from within.

“Enter.”

“Father. Grandfather is coming to visit today,” she informed him.

He looked up from the book he was currently reading. “That could be a good or bad thing depending on your Dam.”

“Dam is so far having a very good day. He came to watch my training session with the Quincy. The Quincy states that he is pleased with my progress,” she said without moving further in the room than just inside the doorway.

“Retrieve me if I am needed. It is unpredictable the way your Dam will react to seeing his father,” he commented and went back to his book.

Makiko turned and left the room. She thought she would see what Dam was doing in the art room. She got there, finding Gin and Kin at their easels working on new paintings. This time, Gin was wearing a floral yukata while Kin was wearing a pair of trousers with a button up shirt. Makiko never had a problem telling them apart. It was quite obvious. Gin’s mask fragment was on his left eye and Kin’s was on her right. She supposed most the others didn’t remember that as easily as she did.

Dam was sitting at the table while Hisashi sat reading a file folder beside him. Dam was coloring in one of the coloring books that his friends brought for him. They were adult coloring books which were apparently popular in the World of the Living these days. Makiko came and sat down beside him to see he was coloring some woodland scenes with lots of greens and blues. No reds. That was a very good sign for his mood.

She sat with him and watched as Gin and Kin both worked studiously on their paintings. Kin was painting a landscape from the World of the Living based off a picture in Dam’s photo album, and Gin was painting: a still life of a bowl of fruit. Around the room there were canvases, and throughout the halls of Las Noches there were a fair amount of the paintings that the twins had done. There were a few done by some of the others, but no one had the talent that they did. Of course, in here there were also Dam’s drawings and drawings from when they were children. It even made Makiko somewhat nostalgic sometimes.

After another hour had passed, the door opened, and Makiko saw that it was Grandfather with Getabishi. Hisashi got Dam’s attention and he looked up to see his father waiting patiently by the door.

“Pop,” Dam said. “Come sit down.”

Grandfather came and sat down across from them.

“Hello, son. How are you today?” he asked.

“Good, I’ve been coloring in greens today, and I went and watched Makiko’s training with Uryū.” He turned and looked at Makiko with a smile. “She is doing very well.”

“That’s good, son, I’m glad to hear that. I brought you another album with the girls’ families for you to see,” he said and handed another thick photo album over to Dam.

Dam picked it up and started going through it with a sad smile on his face. Makiko knew that seeing pictures of the World of the Living made him happy and sad at the same time. She could understand why. That had been his home, and his father let him burn.

She shook those thoughts away. Dam wouldn’t like it if he knew she was thinking like that. She tried not to think about Dam’s past, but times like this, it was brought to mind in vivid clarity.

“The children are growing big,” he said and looked up. “Soon they will have children of their own.”

“Yes, I am wondering who will give me my first great-grandchild. Are any of yours dallying with romance?” Grandfather asked.

Makiko glanced over at Hisashi. Dam just smiled again. “Yazu is far too busy with her research. Hisashi, poor Hisashi spends all his time with me.”

“Dam…” Hisashi started.

“Makiko is studying to be a Quincy very hard, so she has not had time. Tamashini is very busy with her mechanical builds she works on. Though she spends a lot of time in Agartha with the tech guild, so we’ll see if she finds anyone she wants to stay with. Ryoto is way too focused on his training with Nnoitra and Grimmjow. Gin and Kin spend most their time here, and well, Kage, you know what he’s doing. He may meet someone at any time I would think,” Dam explained.

Grandfather nodded. “They all seem to be doing well.”

“They are. I am proud of them all,” Dam said and continued to flip through the photo album. “I wish that Karin and Yuzu could come see me.”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Karin has been asking, and I spoke with Urahara about it, and we think it would be okay if they were to come see you. That would mean I would have to tell Yuzu the truth, though. That is the only reason I’ve put it off as long as I have. I don’t know how she will take the truth,” he said with a sigh.

“She will cry,” Dam said with a definitive nod. “I’m sure she will cry a lot.”

“Yeah, I can see that happening. But is that something you would like, to be able to see them again?” he asked.

Dam nodded. “Yes, I would like to see them if I can. I know I cannot come to the World of the Living, but if they could come visit me, I would like it very much. As long as they understand my condition and do not expect me to be the person they knew before.”

“It will be a hard tale to tell, but tell it I will, simply to make it so you can see them again,” he seemed a little sad as he said it.

Dam closed the photo album and looked up at Grandfather. “You remember Hisashi and Makiko?”

Grandfather nodded. “I do. And it was Gin and Kin?”

“That’s correct,” Dam said with a smile. “I don’t know where the others are today.”

“Tamashini was in Agartha again,” Hisashi said from beside Dam. “I think Ryoto is with Uncle Nnoitra out on the sands hunting some of the lesser hollows. And well, Kage is too busy to leave right now.”

“Ah,” Dam said. He blinked. “I think I should end this visit, Pop. I think I may need to have some time with Sōsuke.”

“Ah, yes, of course, son.” He looked over to Urahara who stood by the door still. “I’ll have Urahara take me and Uryū back. Take care, okay?”

“Okay,” Dam said, somewhat distantly.

“I love you son,” Grandfather said as he stood up and walked toward the door.

“I love you, too,” Dam said, turning toward him again before he looked away quickly.

Makiko looked over and saw that Gin had already put down his painting supplies to go get Uncle Sōsuke. She put a hand on Dam’s shoulder and he startled, turning to look at her with wide eyes.

“Uncle Sōsuke is coming,” she assured him.

“That’s good,” he said, still giving her the wide-eyed stare.

After a few minutes, the door opened, and Gin returned with Uncle Sōsuke. He came over and knelt beside Dam.

“My dear, did you need me?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, the sparrows are crowding me all of a sudden,” he said seriously.

“I thought after your father visited you might have a little trouble,” he said, standing up. “Come, let’s go to our room.”

Dam stood up and followed Uncle Sōsuke to the door. Uncle Sōsuke took him by the hand and led him out into the hallway, letting the door close. Makiko sat silently for a moment.

“You’re pensive,” Hisashi said, looking at her.

She turned back to him. “I was just thinking about how hard it must be for Dam to see those that hurt him the worst.”

“But he forgave them all,” Hisashi reminded her.

Makiko was silent again. How could she put into words how she felt? Ever since the day that the Quincy had told her the truth, she struggled with a burning sensation in the pit of her stomach every time she saw one of those that had betrayed her Dam. If Dam had willed it, Makiko knew that none would leave Las Noches alive. She would have been quite happy to take part in their destruction. She let out a sigh, though, because Dam had not willed it. Dam still loved them on many levels, and she would not go against Dam’s will. Dam was everything to her.


	4. Attack, Chinche Asesina

Tamashini was elbow deep in the frame of the engine she was constructing with three arms. She’d enacted her resurrección because she needed her extra hands. She was intent on making this a reality. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn’t hear the door open and close to her shop, so when a hand touched her back, she nearly yelped in surprise. She placed a hand over her heart and looked behind her to see it was Hisashi and Dam.

“Dam, Hisashi,” she breathed out. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, Tamashini,” Hisashi said gently, as always.

“I wanted to see you. You’ve been so busy, I haven’t seen you in several days,” Dam said, smiling at her.

She carefully removed her three hands from the engine pieces and ran one through her black hair where it had come loose from the tie. “Oh, yeah, I had a bit of a breakthrough on the engine design and ended up getting a lot more work done on it than I expected,” she said, wiping grease off two of her hands on the overalls she was wearing. “How are you today, Dam?”

“I’m feeling a little better. Hisashi had another of his concoctions for me to try, and so far, it seems to be working. I don’t see any butterflies yet today, and they’ve been rather bad the last few days.” Dam always had a smile for her.

It had always been like that, though. For as long as she could remember, Dam, no matter how he was feeling, would always smile for her. Tamashini had never been that good at doing some of the things that her siblings had been good at. She had always been good with her hands, all four of them, but reading and learning had never been her strong suit. However, she could take apart and put back together mechanical objects like no one else. She spent a lot of time working with her hands as she grew up, and it had been Dam that had recognized that in her.

She walked over and cupped her Dam’s face and kissed his forehead. “I’m glad, Dam,” she said.

If it hadn’t been for Dam, she didn’t think her life would have turned out the way it had. Dam had seen her aptitude early on for doing things with her hands and had encouraged it. Dam had never made her feel bad about not being able to read as well as the others or forced her to sit still when he knew that it wasn’t possible.

“How is your project coming?” Dam asked as he looked over the engine housing that Tamashini was working on.

Tamashini looked at him and leaned over. “This here,” she said, pointing at one of the internal components. “I’ve been trying to come up with an efficient engine that uses the ambient reishi of Hueco Mundo to cycle through energy. So far, I’m halfway there. If I can make this work, it will be the first engine ever created to run on spiritual energy ever. See, that spot there? I’ve been trying to make the parts smaller and more efficient as I go along.” She stopped and realized that Dam probably wouldn’t be following half of what she was saying. “Uh, so yeah, Urahara-san and I have been working together lately, and he seems to think my theories are sound as far as what’s gonna work here.”

“That’s amazing, Tama!” Dam exclaimed, eyes roving the parts of the exploded engine. “To even come up with such a thing, and then to get as far as you have, that’s just the best thing I’ve seen.”

Tamashini couldn’t help the grin that split her face, her wide mouth lighting up her eyes. There was nothing better than being praised so heavily by Dam. Not even her father’s praise put this kind of feeling in her chest. She stood up straighter and glanced over at Hisashi who looked completely confused about what she had been talking about. Dam looked like he understood, but she had to wonder how much he had really gotten out of what she said.

“We’re planning a dinner for everyone for Dam’s birthday,” Hisashi interjected. “We came by to see if you would be able to come.”

“Oh, of course! When is it?” she asked, unable to stop smiling no matter what she tried.

“Tomorrow night. I hope the late notice isn’t too much trouble. It was kind of a last minute decision since Dam’s been in such good spirits lately and hasn’t been having too many of the bad hallucinations,” Hisashi answered, watching as Dam continued looking over Tamashini’s work where it was laid out.

The workshop was well used, with parts and tools laying all over the tables and the various machines that she had created from parts that still sat around. She kept most of her inventions, even if they didn’t have a purpose or a reason to them. Most of her work centered on using the ambient energy of Hueco Mundo in order to power her creations. She had gotten small, seemingly unimportant machines to function perfectly fine with smaller engines and systems, but the larger engine for the train was a lot more difficult to balance the different parts.

“Will Urahara-san and the others be there?” she asked, watching Dam carefully to make sure he didn’t touch anything he shouldn’t.

“We’ve invited everyone from Soul Society and the World of the Living, so we’ll see who comes. With the short notice, we’re not sure who will be able to come after all,” Hisashi said, also watching Dam a bit nervously as he started poking around in the engine to look closer at parts of it. “Uh, Dam, shouldn’t we go?”

Dam stood up, looking over at him curiously. “Do we need to be somewhere else?” he asked.

“Ah, well, I’m sure Tamashini’s busy, and we could spend some time in the art room if you wanted to. I thin the twins were going to work on their latest pieces in there. Or maybe visit with Uncle Grimmjow for a while? You haven’t seen him in a bit,” Hisashi said, trying to smile. Tamashini knew he was just trying to get him out of the workshop before he messed anything up.

Dam stared at him for a second, then looked back at the engine. “Oh.” He spoke simply, looking a little forlorn.

“Oh, Dam, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” Tamashini said quickly, waving her hands at Hisashi.

“Oh, no, I understand. I’m in the way here. It’s okay,” Dam said with a slight smile. “I really do understand. I’ll go with Hisashi and see what Grimm is doing today.”

“Dam, really, you’re not in the way—” Tamashini started.

“No, no. I should see how the others are doing. It’s fine,” Dam told her and leaned up to kiss her on the cheek. “You have your work to do, and you should do it.”

Hisashi shrugged as Dam turned and headed toward the door. Tamashini couldn’t help but feel a little bad about Dam leaving. The truth was that she couldn’t work while she watched him, and with Dam, there was no telling when a moment would overcome him, and he’d do something or see something. She sighed and dropped down to sit on the bench beside the frame of the engine. She leaned back and looked up toward the ceiling.

Learning the truth about Dam had been hard. The others all found out their own ways, and Tamashini was no different. It had been Renji Abarai that she had cornered to tell her the truth. She spent much of her time either working on her various mechanical projects or sparring with her father or Uncle Grimmjow. Now and then, Abarai-san would come and join in, usually with Ryoto since he could always be found in the training rooms.

_“I want to know.” She wasn’t quite as tall as the redheaded Shinigami, but she was close._

_“I’m not the person to ask,” he had said, calling back his Bankai._

_“You are the one that is here now, and you will tell me the truth,” she had told him, crossing her arms on top of each other, interlocking all four of them with each other._

_Abarai-san tried to put her off, to make her ask anyone but him, but Tamashini wasn’t having any of it. She wanted to know the truth, and she wanted it right then. Finally, the Shinigami relented and walked to the side of the training room where a couple benches sat. He sat down heavily and looked at her sadly._

_“I won’t lie to you. We fucked up, that’s the truth.”_

_“What do you mean?” she had asked, confused by the way he said it._

_“I mean exactly what I say. It’s our fault. The Shinigami. Those of us from Soul Society. We’re the cause of yer Dam’s madness.” He had placed his sword across his lap and looked at her sadly._

_“How?” she had whispered._

_He had looked at her again then sighed. “A long time ago, Sōsuke Aizen had a plan, and it was to frame yer Dam for the murder of Ukitake-taichou. He left enough clues behind to clear his name, if we’d tried, but we didn’t. We believed what was seen, and we locked him up for five years alone. I think he was going a little crazy by the end of that time. The loneliness and solitude had started to eat at him. Then, because yer Dam was never ‘normal’, we thought since he could hollowify himself as a Shinigami that the hollow had taken him over and changed him. So, he was given to Kurotsuchi-taichou,” he stopped and looked thoughtful. “I told him he’d be forgotten, but he was always on my mind no matter how hard I tried to forget him.”_

_“Kurotsuchi-taichou? But he’s not allowed to even talk to Dam…” she said, knowing from listening to them that the captain of the twelfth division was a genius but almost as mad as Dam was._

_“That’s because he spent the next five years trying to separate his hollow Zanpakutō from him and figure out what had caused him to change. When it gave no results, he moved on to testing alpha/beta hollow attributes in the confines of his lab,” he had stopped again._

_“So, that red cell? The one he draws all the time, and tells us he drowning in red, that was from that?” she asked, truly horrified by what she was hearing. She had always thought it was a hallucination that Dam suffered from. She had no idea it was a real thing._

_Abarai-san had nodded. “It was very real. The red is the blood, we think, because he became obsessed with blood. Aizen sent the Espada to come retrieve him when Kurotsuchi had decided that it was time to execute him since he could do nothing else. Ukitake-taichou was returned, and the hypnosis removed to reveal the truth of what had happened and how wrong we had been.”_

_Tamashini was quiet again as she thought. “So, you made Dam lose his mind.”_

_“Yeah, and it was Aizen who helped heal it, as much as I hate to admit it. I don’t know the details of all the Arrancar mating rights or anything, that’s something for someone like Szayel or Aizen himself. I just know that he finally used the hogyuku to turn him into an Arrancar without a hollow hole. After that, there was something about giving each of his mates an offspring, which was when he had you all. It made his madness less, and now he’s like he is. They’ve been trying to come up with ways to heal it still, but no one has had any success.” He had stood up and sighed. “I have to go back. I’m sorry, we all are. He forgave us all, though, even Kurotsuchi. He’s a much better person than any of us.”_

_She had watched him go and just sat there in silence, letting her resurrección go. She shivered and felt tears for the first time in a while. How could they? All of them? Including their Grandfather? No one had put a stop to it?_

She shook her head, reaching up to wipe away fresh tears. Every time she thought about that conversation, she got teary eyed. She wasn’t nearly as bad as Hisashi, but she did let herself cry now and then, though usually out of frustration. She had later gotten Uncle Szayel to tell her what had happened in Las Noches and how he was being poisoned by the foreign reiatsu, and how it was necessary for the six of them to eliminate it. By that point, she understood alpha/beta relations because once they all became adolescents, they had that talk with Uncle Szayel about understanding the drives that each of them would eventually have.

She played with the wrench she was holding, passing it back and forth between her right hands. She glanced behind her at the engine and smiled. Part of the reason for her even thinking of making this rail system was because of Dam. In Dam’s stories of the World of the Living, he spoke about the bullet trains and how they got people to places so fast. Eventually, she had books on mechanical engineering, which had diagrams and information about engines and working with different types of fuel. Dam had mentioned one day when she was studying a book on the bullet trains that he wished they had something like that for Las Noches to Agartha. That had sparked the idea for Tamashini to come up with this system.

It had taken her years to refine the engine that ran on reishi. It was something in infinite supply, and literally could be gathered from the world around them. Because the energy wasn’t consumed, rather simply transferred, it came back out of the machine, thus maintaining the levels of reishi in the environment around them.

She put down the wrench and got up. She had lost interest in working for the day. She truly felt terrible that Dam thought she didn’t want him around. She never intended such a thing and it made her think of these things. She put away some of the tools and closed the cabinet. She would just have to hope that her birthday surprise for Dam would make up for any hurt she caused him. She looked over on the table where the plain looking box sat. Even if Dam had looked right at it, he wouldn’t know what it was. From the outside it looked like a simple wooden box. She picked it up and opened it, triggering the music that played. In the top was a copy of the picture of them as children standing with Dam.

Closing the box again, the music stopped, and she again hoped that something so simple would make Dam smile. She picked it up and took off in a sonido to get to the common room to see where they were putting Dam’s gifts for the party tomorrow. She got there and found Gin and Kin both standing by the sofas where Uncle Sōsuke and her father were both sitting.

“Tamashini,” Uncle Sōsuke said as she approached. “We were just talking about you and your project. We were wondering if you would be coming out of the workshop for the get together tomorrow.”

“I wouldn’t miss Dam’s birthday,” she said as she held up the box. “I made him something.”

Her father smiled at her. “Good girl,” he said, blinking his one eye at her. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

She felt her cheeks heat up a little and she looked over where there were a couple wrapped packages sitting on the sofa table. She sat it down beside the others. Gin and Kin had each made something too, no doubt.

“What did you make this year?” she asked them.

Gin, wearing a floral yukata today, pointed to one of the packages. “I carved him a set of picture frames. Enough to put all his favorite photos in and hang on the wall in here or their room.”

“I painted the frames,” Kin explained with a smile. She was wearing a pair of black slacks and a bright patterned shirt with large flowers on it.

“I know he’ll like that,” she said. “He always loves the things you give him. Mine looks so plain compared to what you two can do,” she sighed, feeling a little inadequate.

Uncle Sōsuke spoke up. “Do not sell yourself short. He greatly enjoys the mechanical marvels you create for him.”

She nodded, still feeling a little sad that she’d sent Dam away from the workshop. She thought maybe she should go see him again, but she didn’t want to bother him either.

“Tamashini, you look like something is amiss,” Uncle Sōsuke said, and she turned her attention back to him.

“I just… Well, Dam was in the workshop. And I think he thought I wanted him to leave, because he left, and I didn’t want him to think I didn’t want him.”

Her father shook his head. “I’m sure that ain’t what he thought.”

“He’s in the art room with Hisashi if you want to see him for yourself. He didn’t look like he was upset about anything, so I doubt you hurt his feelings,” Uncle Sōsuke told her with a soft smile.

“Yeah, I guess,” she answered. “I’ll go see how he is.”

She turned and left to head to the art room. She wondered what Dam thought sometimes. It was so difficult to get a read on what was going on in his mind. She always wondered at the things he said and tried to figure out what was real and what was simply a hallucination. She knew that some of the things he saw were straight out of his nightmares. She couldn’t imagine living with that going on. More than once, she had to help find Dam after he had one of his scary ones that caused him to run and hide. Luckily for them, he usually hid in places he considered safe like Uncle Szayel’s lab or one of the training rooms.

When she was small, she remembered spending so much time in this very room. She smiled at the memories as she put her hand on it. She released her resurrección and recalled her extra hands. She opened the door and went in. Smiling, she looked over to see that Dam was playing with the keyboard that Ishida-san and Chad had brought for him. He wasn’t very good yet, but he was learning some basic songs.

He looked up as she closed the door. “Tama. I thought you’d be working still.”

“Oh, no, I’m done for the day. It’s better I don’t get started on anything right now since tomorrow is your birthday and I don’t want to miss it. If I get into my work, I may forget it,” she said, coming to sit down beside him.

“You all worry too much over a silly thing like a birthday,” Dam said, staring at the keyboard and then tapping out carefully a song. It was Mary Had a Little Lamb.

“You’re getting better,” she said, looking over to see that Hisashi was crashed in the pillow pile with a book of some sort. She arched a brow and guessed that Dam was having a very good day since Hisashi was doing something while he was minding him.

“I like playing it, even if I can’t do it yet,” he said and started tapping out the tune again.

“I think it sounds lovely, Dam,” she said and patted him on the back.

“Who is coming tomorrow?” he asked suddenly, frowning as though the thought had just occurred to him.

Tamashini recognized that look. She sighed. “Everyone, remember? Abarai-san, Kuchiki-san, Urahara-san, Ishida-san, Chad…hopefully Grandfather.”

“Grandfather?” he echoed, and she looked over to see Hisashi listening to them carefully instead of reading.

“Yeah, Dam, you know, your father,” she reminded him.

He was quiet for a second and then nodded. “Oh yeah. I forget about him sometimes.”

“I know, Dam, I know.” Tamashini reached out and hugged him to her so he couldn’t see the tears she was trying to hide.

**Author's Note:**

> Autism Self-Advocacy Network  
> • info@autisticadvocacy.org  
> • http://autisticadvocacy.org/  
> National Alliance on Mental Health  
> • 1-800-950-6264  
> • http://www.nami.org/  
> Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance  
> • 1-800-826-3632  
> • http://www.dbsalliance.org/  
> Transgender Youth Equality Foundation  
> • 207-478-4087  
> • http://www.transyouthequality.org/  
> Trans Student Educational Resources  
> • TSER@transstudent.org  
> • http://www.transstudent.org/  
> Stopbullying.gov  
> • https://www.stopbullying.gov/  
> PACERS National Bullying Prevention Center  
> • 1-800-537-2237  
> • http://www.pacer.org/bullying/  
> Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration  
> • 1-877-SAMHSA-7  
> • https://www.samhsa.gov/  
> National Suicide Prevention Hotline  
> • 1-800-273-8255  
> • https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  
> Suicide Prevention Resources  
> • http://www.sprc.org/  
> American Foundation of Suicide Prevention  
> • https://www.afsp.org/  
> The American Association of Suicidology  
> • http://www.suicidology.org/  
> Crisis Text Line  
> • Text "Start" 741-741  
> • http://www.crisistextline.org/  
> S.A.F.E. Alternatives  
> • 1-800-DONTCUT  
> • http://www.selfinjury.com/  
> Trans Lifeline  
> • US: 1-877-565-8860 Canada: 1-877-330-6366  
> • https://www.translifeline.org/  
> GLBT National Youth Talk  
> • 1-800-246-7743 (M-F, 4pm-12am EST/Sat, 12pm-5pm EST)  
> The Trevor Project  
> • 1-866-488-7386 (24/7)  
> • Text “Trevor” 1-202-304-1200 (F 4pm - 8pm EST)  
> • http://www.thetrevorproject.org/  
> Disaster Distress Helpline  
> • 1-800-985-5990  
> • Text "TalkWithUs" 66746  
> National Sexual Violence Resource Center  
> • 1-877-739-3895  
> • http://www.nsvrc.org/  
> RAINN- Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network  
> • 1-800-656-4673  
> • https://www.rainn.org/  
> National Sexual Assault Hotline  
> • 1-800-656-4673  
> The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence  
> • 303-839-1852  
> • http://www.ncadv.org/  
> The National Domestic Violence Hotline  
> • 1-800-799-SAFE  
> • http://www.thehotline.org/  
> The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence  
> • 1-800-537-2238  
> • http://www.nrcdv.org/  
> Warm Ear Line  
> • 1-866-WARM EAR (927-6327)  
> • http://warmline.org/  
> National Human Trafficking Resource Center  
> • 1-888-373-7888  
> • Text BeFree (233733)  
> National Runaway Safeline  
> • 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) (24/7)  
> • http://www.1800runaway.org/  
> USA National Child Abuse Hotline  
> • 1-800-422-4453 (24/7)  
> National Safe Place  
> • Text SAFE and your current location to the number 69866 (24/7)  
> • http://nationalsafeplace.org/  
> National Eating Disorders Association  
> • 800-931-2237 (M-F, 11:30 am-7:30 pm EST)  
> • http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/  
> ANAD: National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders  
> • 630-577-1330 (M-F,12 pm-8 pm EST)  
> • http://www.anad.org/


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